Around the age of five, my mother and father were tucking me into bed and saying goodnight. My mother said her goodnights first, and then all three of us recited a little prayer to keep everyone we knew safe, happy, and healthy. Finally, my dad said his goodnights. Something about this routine had changed on that particular day.
My father said his goodnights and turned to walk away. Then he stopped in his tracks and turned around. He looked at me, right into my five-year-old eyes, and said something that I will never forget.
“Pumpkin?”
To which I responded, “Yes, Dad?”
“Do you know how many seconds are in a day?”
“Nope.”
It was rhetorical, I assumed—after all, I was five years old and had no idea how many seconds were in a day.
“There are 86,400 seconds in a day.”
I repeated, “86,400 seconds in a day.”
He then asked, “Do you know how many of them you get back tomorrow?”
“All of them?” What else would you expect an overly optimistic little girl to say?
“None. When you lay your head on the pillow and go to sleep, the seconds wash away. You do not get them back. Time, sweetheart, is very important. I want you to remember that.”
It was an unusual number to remember, but to this day, I can still tell you without hesitation how many seconds are in a day.
Time has always been very important to my father, and in that moment, time became very important to me as well.
There are two values in life that I hold dearly, both of which I have my parents to thank for instilling in me. The first is that time is money. In the same way you don’t let people waste your money, don’t let them waste your time, because unlike money, you can never get it back. The second is honesty, but that’s a lesson for another time.
Don’t let people waste your time, and more importantly, don’t waste your own time… but what did my father mean?
Curious, I asked, “Dad, how do I know if I am wasting my time? How do I know if someone is wasting my time?”
When I asked, he responded with his usual grace and wisdom when teaching his daughters a life lesson. My father said, “Morgan, only you will know when you have used your time efficiently, feeling productive and rewarded, as opposed to time wasted.”
I would later find out that the meaning of wasting time would resonate differently with each individual, depending on your culture, your values, your customs, and so on. Someone cannot tell you where to spend your time, because where one decides to spend their time may seem like a waste to another.
His words didn’t transform me into a business tycoon, but they resonated with me—and continue to do so.
Years later, after the saying about 86,400 seconds had become a routine phrase in our household, I asked him for a little further clarification.
“Patience,” he said, “is a virtue, but don’t allow people to waste your time. You are in charge of your seconds, and how you live each day is important because you cannot get those days back. When you lay your head down on your pillow each night, ask yourself two things: first, where you are proud of yourself for that day, and second, where you could have improved.”
Similar to the saying, live each day to the fullest because you never know which will be your last. I learned at a very young age that life is fragile. Each day, use your time—whether in leisure, business, schooling, or anything else—to the best of your ability. Because when the clock strikes midnight, those seconds are gone forever.
I never asked why he turned around that random night to share the saying that would shape the way I approach life, but I wish I had. Then again, my five-year-old self may not have understood, anyway.
Today, I take those words very seriously. The most valuable asset we are given is time, and it is up to us to use it properly. Each day, we are given 86,400 seconds, and when we lay our heads on the pillow, we will know when we have used our time efficiently.
And so, as he closed the door on my five-year-old self for a night’s rest, he left me with his words of wisdom, followed by a simple, “Goodnight, sweet pea.”
xx,
Tom & the outsider