Perhaps this is one of my more niche thoughts, but after graduating, does anyone else feel like they have to become instantly fabulous? When I was younger—also known as five months ago—I thought that, upon graduating, I would have this grand epiphany and everything would fall into place. Well, guess what: I kinda did, but not in the way I once imagined.
I’m the type of person who likes to know the next move. Yes, I’m “go with the flow,” but there’s something comforting about having the security of knowing—whether in a job, a friendship, or a relationship—that probably sets most of us at ease. With so much uncertainty surrounding this post-graduation era, I’ve had ample time to think about who I want to be, what I want, what it takes to get there, and how I can reach my goals in both professional and personal spheres.
I couldn’t help but wonder: is anyone else feeling rushed? I see people whom many of us would quickly characterize as “incredible by 23,” and I ask myself, why not me? Then I pause and ask: what does it mean to be great? Who decides who gets to be incredible? What are the requirements for becoming revolutionary? Don’t we all have different definitions of success?
A long time ago, I promised that I would always be honest on here—and at times that means being vulnerable. For quite some time, I’ve been confronted by the fear that I need to play catch-up, that I’m running behind. So, when this thought strolled into my brain, I reached out to a few people. Maybe it wasn’t just me who felt this way. Maybe someone else had had the same thought. I was hoping I wasn’t alone.
To those I messaged during your work days or pool days: thank you for responding; I appreciate your honesty. Each response gave me more courage to write from the heart with complete transparency. One reply in particular, from a dear friend, resonated so strongly that I’ve included it below:
You have to remember that everyone gravitates to their outcomes—from the effort and energy you put out—in their own time. It’s like baking a pie and a cake and wondering why one is cooking faster than the other. You can try to rush one, but you might burn it (not that I have any idea how to cook either of those).
I’m not sure if those words will resonate as deeply with you as they did with me, but if you’re struggling with this feeling too, I hope you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone. I wish there were more I could say to ease this angst, but I’m not here to fib or bullsh!t you—just to be here for you.
Here’s what I will say:
We are all on our own timeline. I cannot compare myself to anyone because we are not the same. Perhaps we want the same job—perhaps we don’t—but we are not the same person. What you can do is take each day one day at a time, be present in each moment (much harder said than done), and realize that you’re going to be just fine.
And just like that, we’re diving head-first into this new chapter.
xx,
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