Ch. 4, Pg. 1
The Beginning of the End
So, here I am, on my way back to school after a winter break filled with laughter, love, reconnecting, and reminiscing. As I sit on the plane, furiously typing away on my keyboard, trying to organize my week into a somewhat comprehensive calendar, I can’t help but wonder: why am I so anxious?
Maybe it’s because a few days ago, I realized that my time as a senior in college is drawing to a close. There’s only a limited amount of time left for so many of us here at [insert your university] before the end of our run as college students.
Over the years, I’ve had an amazing time at USC (University of Southern California (for those who were wondering which USC)). I’ve met my best friends and been introduced to more people I now call family than I ever thought possible. I’ve had incredible highs and incredible lows (what can I say, I am honest), but today, I can honestly say I’m grateful for both. Except, as I sit here typing, I can't shake the feeling of realization, knowing that it is almost over. Pretty soon, just like that, it will be over. Then what?
This reality hit me a couple of days ago during lunch with someone I’d call a little brother. He looked at me, as if realizing something I hadn’t. What is it? I asked, a mix of concern and confusion bubbling up as his expression shifted something inside me. “You’re graduating. Welcome to your last semester,” he said, grinning ear to ear, thrilled for me. I stared at him, blank-faced, before mumbling, “sh!t.”
This is a day, not so far in the future, we all look forward to, but as it approaches, it’s not as exciting as we once imagined. Why? Well…
Pretty soon, we’ll be scattered across different parts of the world, leading our lives and only pausing to catch up when our schedules miraculously align. You’ll chat, catching up on the good ole days, before stepping onto the train or starting your car, darting off to your next destination. When you hang up, you’ll promise—emptily—to keep in better touch. Will you? Prolly not.
Super depressing? Yeeaaaa, sorry. But here’s the thing: this isn’t about me telling a sad story of what’s happening to so many of us as we take our final semester by the hands and march toward the diploma. Instead, this is my reminder to think about what I want to accomplish this semester. All these questions popped into my head, and to be completely honest, I am still searching for the answers. I wondered…
Who do I want to be?
Where do I want to put my time?
Who do I want to spend it with?
At the end of the day, the question that has been pestering me most is, how can I take this small amount of time I have left and make the absolute most of it? I guess we shall see.
xx,
sunshine, the ultimate outsider.